Dog Days

Awhile back I wrote an editorial in the Toledo Blade about animal healthcare versus human healthcare. I got some pointed comments from several physicians I visited who internalized the criticisms and took the letter personally. There was absolutely no understanding derived from my futile attempt to say "Dogs and cats get better care from their vets than we get from our docs." DUH.

I will again try to drive the point home that our furry friends have caring and loving vets and we are not always that lucky. I don't know what occurs in med school versus veterinary school, but the average human doc is on a mission to get you in and out of the examining room in minutes flat. There is little small talk other than hello and what seems to be the problem. The human physician is busy scrawling information on a script sheet or chatting into a recorder while the person on the table gets increasingly antsy. It is not always a very happy visit.

Now my dog's experience goes like this: The vet tech makes her first appearance to assess the situation. She/he compliments Cozby on his shiny fur and usually calls him a "pretty boy." The first treat of the day is dispensed when Coz is being cooperative.

The next step involves the actual vet with the vet tech. Nine out of ten times, the vet will sit on the floor and hug and pet my dog. She/he has been known to tell Cozby again that he is a. a good boy b. handsome boy or all of the above. Treats or cookies all around but only for the four legged friend variety. While the dog is munching the exam begins but he is clueless to whatever is transpiring. If a lab visit is required, then the peanut butter appears as a reward for standing still while blood is drawn. Nails and anal gland checked? Well, how about another cookie???

See what I mean? Compliments, food and hugs....not bad. Pet meds always seem to work in wondrous ways while my prescriptions pale in comparison. Cozby and I both have arthritis. Cozby takes a huge Omega 3 pill daily...I dose myself with two. The first month my pup exhibited puppy like behavior again, his fur was glossy and his toenails stronger than nails. I have yet to notice any type of medical or cosmetic changes. I would steal his mega pill but because it is larger than life, I tried one morning and choked. Never again. His vitamin has super powers for sure.

Last winter he and I both had lower back issues. I made an appointment with my family doc and got muscle relaxers and pain pills. Cozby's visit consisted of a back ex-ray, muscle relaxants and steroids. He bounced back within two days and I limped around for two weeks. The vet's office called three days later to see how their little patient was doing....I am still waiting for my call.

Another daily pill has been added to Cozby's stash....Glucosamine. While Glucosamine never did a thing for me (my doc told me it takes monthes to kick in)...of course the dog took off literally running with this new med. I recently read the ingredients on the back and one was creatine (used to beef up muscles)....they suggested he take a big dose for 4-6 wks since it takes a while to accumulate in your system. Why didn't my physician tell me this?

The comparisons are more like contrasts. I love my animal but I have to wonder why he gets all the good stuff and all the attention. Both the human doc and the animal doc are expensive but my pal with the tail gets more bang for his buck.

In my letter to the editor I commented how canine cancer patients are treated. A survivor wall was created with pictures of dogs "beating the disease." When was the last time you saw such a wall in any hospital or doctor's office?

At the risk of pissing off the medical community for the second time, I will not blog on this subject again. My gynecologist had cut the letter out, the staff had read it and I was interrogated about it during my examination. A few days later I was picking dog food up at the vet's and when I spoke my last name an employee yelled "Is your name Rose?" The vet came out as did the rest of the techs, I was the client of the month!!!

This is a chilling account of what really happend. I have drawn one conclusion from this craziness. The vet and vet's staff are happy well adjusted people who like their jobs. I will leave you to conclude on behalf of the human docs and staffs.