Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Relay for Life

I just returned home from our annual Relay for Life. We walked in the lap for Drew our youngest son's friend who died in December. At exactly 5:55 the lap began and there were so many familiar faces in our group.

Leading the masses were the college boys who played baseball with Drew in high school and who attended every relay year after year as Drew's Crew. This was the first year their friend was not with them physically, although we all know he made the walk tonight.

There was alot of hugging going on during the lap, alot of smiling and some tears. Parents, grandparents and kids.Three years ago this was a fraternity of sorts....the boys' senior year...the culmination of many years of being bleacher friends in baseball. The bond still exists. The friends still come out when needed. They were all present and accounted for in December to plan the food at the funeral home, the luncheon after, to attend the funeral and to go grave side. The 2006 baseball team served as pall bearers.

When these friends pull together it is a beautiful sight to behold. Isn't this the way it is supposed to be? I for one feel very lucky to be a part of this circle . I know that Drew and now Drew's memory has been the glue holding everyone so closely together. Maybe that was his destiny.




Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day is not just for biological moms

Bringing three healthy sons into the world years ago was a feat of sorts. I did all the usual responsibilities of potty training, teaching right from wrong,loving them unconditionally, spending long evenings overseeing homework, healing broken hearts and then sending them away to college. I did it all.

When I resumed my teaching career the women I taught beside taught me the true meaning of unselfishness.You see the majority of these women made the decision not to marry and not to have biological children of their own. They gave daily of themselves to the central city child who needed extra maternal love, discipline and stability. These ladies provided a safe and nurturing environment for hundreds of kids struggling with broken homes and parents with addiction problems. They gave lessons in conscience, friendship, consequences and of course the three r's.

Anyone can give birth to a child but it takes a special person to step up to the plate and mother children in their care year after year. In most cases there is no immediate pay back...no thank you's. Sometimes if the teacher is lucky, the child visits yearly to show a great report card or an honor that was bestowed on him/her. Sometimes the effort is rewarded by a surprise visit years later by a boy or a girl wanting to just hug a favorite mentor. In most cases all the care and concern goes unheralded.

To all these extraordinary individuals....have a Happy Mother's Day!!! Without your daily dedication year after year, our urban children would not have the opportunities to flourish.


Monday, May 4, 2009

The Kent State Massacre

The Kent State shootings are also known as the Kent State Massacre. Today is the 39th anniversary of this event....May 4th 1970. Four students were killed and nine others were wounded, one suffered permanent paralysis. They were shot by the Ohio National Guard.

Some of the students who were shot were protesting against the American invasion of Cambodia which President Richard Nixon directed. However, some of the wounded were just walking nearby or observing the protest from afar.

On May 4th 1970 I was a freshman at Bowling Green State University. In response to the shootings, BGSU closed as anti war sentiment was high. Rallies, and the seizing of the administration all occurred on May 5th 1970. The rallies were led by anti war activists who commanded huge audiences.

Nothing was ever the same after May 4th and 5th. Our feelings against the war became even more intense as events at various universities spun out of control. Returning Vietnam vets returned home to booing crowds,and draft card and flag burning. It was a great time to be alive but also an era of emotional turmoil.

As I left college and became a working adult, I met a variety of people. My first boss was a Vietnam veteran with a host of problems resulting from his tour. This was the first time I actually felt compassion for anyone in the armed forces because it had taken such a physical and mental toll on him. It was my ah ha moment.

I was left with this take on war. It was wrong for Washington to play political games with our armed force's lives. LBJ and Nixon knew we would inevitably lose this war but continued to deploy troops overseas . That was unforgivable.

On this 5th of May I will pray for the students who died 39 years ago and the ones who were wounded. Prayers will also be offered for our Vietnam vets who still struggle with their own personal battles after all this time. God bless us all.


Friday, April 24, 2009

Quotable Quotes of the Week

"Having people is better than having no people at all " Dr. Alex Kariv
Grey's Anatomy


" Organized religion is for people who fear hell, spiritualism is for people who have been to hell and back" Eric Schweig, actor

"Don't defend the shoe to me." Tim Gunn Project Runaway

" It's not an Island. It is a place where miracles happen. Lie to them, Jack. If you do it half as well as you lie to yourself, they will believe you." John Locke LOST

"Nobody in football can be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theisman, football commentator and former player

"I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections..there is a huge number of yeast infections in our country. Probably because we are downriver from the old bread factory."
Dwight Schrute The Office episode Email Surveillance

"An eye for an eye and the whole world would be blind." Kahlil Gibran, poet






Monday, April 13, 2009

The Other Side

I was brought up by a host of Polish aunts , a mother and a grandmother to believe that when you die there is still contact with loved ones . At an early age I would listen intently as the women in my family dished about neighbors, friends and family communicating from the Other Side.

The Polish neighborhood in the Nebraska Ave. area in Toledo evidently had an active spiritual and supernatural life. It was the custom upon death to notify someone in the immediate block. Stories of actual sightings of a dead neighbor or a random push shortly after someone died were common place. My grandma explained that it was what they did.

My grandmother's sister who had small children was taken at a very young age. The Aunt Kate story unfolds in my grandmother's bedroom one evening after Kate's funeral. My grandmother woke in the middle of the night to see a glowing orb floating by her ceiling. She explained that it was a very bright light and she had to shield her eyes. Kate's voice was heard to say "Take care of my children." In nights to follow a tearful Kate appeared to her sister in the same bedroom and she had to same request "Take care of my children." Needless to say, Kate's two children came to live with my grandmother and grandfather shortly there after.

In 1985 my grandmother was dying of cancer in a local nursing home.A month prior to her death , my aunt saw my deceased grandfather standing in her garage.She was shocked and shaken because his face was drawn and very sad. The family definitely believed that death was on her heels.

Years later, the same aunt lost her husband of many years. My cousin Kevin who never "believed" like the women was shaken to his core one night in his home. He had just gone to bed when he heard his father's voice say "Take care of your mother." And take care of her he did. He built an apartment on his property for my aunt who lived there in style until her death.

But no one in our family could "see" the Other Side as well as my son Nick. At the age of 4 he would say "There is something wrong with my eyes." It wasn't until he told me that he could see our beloved dead Lab that I understood what he meant. The hair stood up on my arms as he explained that Barclay walked the halls at night as a shadowy creature and laid down on the carpet by the boys' bedrooms.He mentioned the dog so casually, and I did not want to scare him.

Nick would continue to have these visions and would only mention the biggest of the big ones. An example of a big one was in 7th grade at a travel baseball game...Nick would ask me after the game " Who was that dark skinned man standing in back of Dad at the game?" Well my husband sat in a lawn chair usually by himself to not be disturbed by talking....I had glanced over that day and no one was standing by him. It finally occurred to us days later that the man Nick saw was my husband's father..."Blackie" who had the dark swarthy skin of an Italian.And yes he was dead and Nick had never met him. In showing Nick pictures of the family, he identified the man as his grandfather. He would "see" this man again in 9th grade in Ann Arbor MI as he put his football equipment in the bus. His grandfather walked by and looks were exchanged. He wore the same green shirt which we later found in my oldest son's closet.....his bowling shirt. The third and last time he was seen was in our garage Nick's senior year before a varsity baseball game.

As Nick progressed in college his visions became far and few between. I remember over the last 2 years maybe twice....a man standing by his bedroom window at home at night and bright lights flashing in front of our door also at night after I had surgery. He has learned to ignore the unusual and just get on with his life.






Now my sister has always been of the school of disbelief. I on the other hand believe that if you are open to the notion, you have a better chance of hearing or seeing something or someone. I have never "seen" anyone like my son has but I have heard voices and dog barking. The dog barking usually occurs in the wee hours of the morning and no it is not an outside animal making the noise, it comes from our downstairs. The voices...well usually I am startled by someone calling my name early in the a.m. of the day while still in bed. It has happened enough to not write it off as a dream.








My sister the disbeliever was startled one afternoon after my Dad passed away. She had come home from work tired and decided to lay down on her bed. While fidgeting to become comfortable, she heard a male voice shout out her full given name. Thinking that my brother-in-law had just walked in, she called to him. Nothing. No one else was home. She was sure afterwards that it was Dad. She has had a few similar episodes since...see what I mean about being open to this?





It is not a real popular subject to be bringing up in public. People tend to think your oars are not completely in the water. Someone I worked with suggested that Nick start taking vitamins and have a complete physical....now I am leery to share these things.



I am a big fan of Sylvia Browne and have read a good deal of her books. She is a psychic and has explained alot of spiritual matters. Von Pragh and Edwards are good also....Edwards sees symbols not the person as he is doing a reading. Interesting stuff. I find it comforting that people we knew and maybe loved continue to communicate with us from the Other Side


















Saturday, April 4, 2009

Welcome to the 70's

In the TV show Lost, returning survivors are greeted by a return in time to the 70's. The music, the hair, the clothes are all throw backs.

All this 70's hoopla has created some big time Kodak moment frenzy. I even dragged out my photo album from college and poured over it for quite some time. I could barely recognize the girl with the long hair to her waist dressed in bell bottoms, a flannel shirt and construction shoes. 70's chic or was it faux hippie wear??

With all the bad economic news, nostalgia is the only way to go. I mean who remembers the bars "Mr. Entertainer", the Faba on Secor and the Tabard on Dorr St.?? Some very good times were held in those esteemed establishments and some very drunken nights. How about Charlie's Blind Pig on the corner of Bancroft and Westwood???

Then there was the entertainment. Martin Mull the actor/comedian appeared at UT as a newbie and his act was called "Martin Mull and his Travelling Furniture". He did a stand up act sitting on his couch. Needless to say as I am writing this it sounds pretty stupid...as memory serves, he was hilarious. The Fifth Dimension also played at UT and my friend Pam was pulled onstage and had the time of her life dancing with the band and singers. The FD is still a fan favorite of mine.

My best memory of college was our red rose fiasco. It was decided that we would place an ad in the UT paper for a date with one of us. The contact number we used belonged to Kappa Delta sorority ( one friend was an ex member...didn't pay her dues but she still had her key). The five of us "broke" into the facility on a Friday afternoon to answer the phone. It rang nonstop and we took turns answering and booking dates. All dates were asked to carry a red rose but different locations with close proximities were given to each and the time was to be 8 o'clock. The problem was that 8 guys would be waiting and there were only 5 of us....someone decided we would hide and check-out the guys first. That is how the fiasco stared. 8 unsuspecting guys waited in their assigned spots, some staring at each other suspiciously. The 5 of us hid and since a. none passed our approval b. we didn't have the guts to reveal ourselves, the poor suitors waited forever for their dates. We were long gone to a party by the time they figured out they were all stood up.

The 70's....I recall that frat guys were not cool, the Kent State massacre was very real, the Vietnam War was horrible, beer was cheap, gas was 19 cents a gallon during gas wars on Dorr St., guys had to stay in school to not get drafted, Vietnam vets were treated badly on campus, drug use ran rampant and hitchhiking was an acceptable form of transportation. When I student taught another student teacher was reprimanded for hitching to school. The term positive reinforcement in the classrooms was born ....we literally gave out tons of M&M's daily for good behavior.

Drunk driving was not a big deal in that era...no M.A.D.D. To not remember driving home is a scary thought. We picked up hitchhikers day or night. Naive, stupid or just a sign of the times?

I am truly glad that I lived through those times without killing myself. I sometimes wonder if that time was harder on parents than the 2000's. All I needed was a lap top and a cell phone and I would have been armed and dangerous.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Ultimate Escapism

Every season I have some favorite TV shows that allow me to disappear literally into the television set. If this is escapism, then I am guilty.

The fall brought Biggest Loser with all the drama of the big girls talking smack and picking on Phil. It was great fun as the intrigue played out and the two bad girls ended up not winning the $250,000. I even consulted the message boards for further fun and found that I was not alone in my contempt of the contestants as the words fat, bitch and psycho were common threads.

The winter brought the Bachelor even though I swore I would not watch it. My oldest son warned me that Jason Mesnick was a fool who was using his kid to get girls. I believe you now, son and I am sorry I even got involved in that! I did like Melissa and ABC paid her back for all her troubles by giving her a spot on Dancing with the Stars. I read somewhere that Jason Mesnick was receiving death threats...some viewers obviously get carried away. I was just disgusted that a grown man could act so childishly...and what was with the tears??

Lost came back and not too soon I might add. I was a late comer to the show and my son gave me the first three seasons to watch to "catch-up." I was intrigued by the plot and the twists and found myself watching the entire season in one day . It is sad but true. I consult the message boards on this show because they tend to explain things which I find very complex and confusing.I also call my oldest during the broadcast if something bizarre is happening. The story seems to follow parts of the Bible with names like Aaron and Ben and Jacob who are primary names in the show. Fascinating. My favorite characters are Sawyer aka LaFleur, Hurley, and Ben. One more season to go before the plug is pulled on this great show.

I have been a fan of Dancing with the Stars forever. The fans this season have allowed the computer geek, Steve O from Jackass and Lil Kim to stay on too long. The computer geek had judges' scores of 10 last week!!! Time to go. Julianne Hough and her bf are nauseating , Holly Madison looks so stiff, and Denise Richard couldn't buy a smile. Melissa is born to dance, the guy from Sex and the City movie can really cut some rug and the little gymnast is adorable and graceful. I hear there was a stalker with a gun watching her....more drama.

So this is better escape than drinking yourself under the table with absolutley no side effects!! However, there is a chance you may become addicted .